Why Being Told “No” Actually Leads You to Your Most Desired Outcomes​

Pachinkco

Most of us know that it sometimes takes a few “no’s” to get a “yes.”

Persistence pays off in life.  And in virtually any endeavor, the only time we actually fail is when we quit.

Even Though We Seem to Hear “No” More Often, Who Doesn’t Love Hearing “Yes”?

No matter what you’re doing, however, hearing a “yes” is almost always preferable to a “no.”  No matter how much we might consciously understand that “no’s” are not nails in a coffin, and sometimes they’re even necessary stepping stones, they simply can be more challenging to feel good about.

And since your main goal today is to tell yourself the best-feeling, believable story possible, wouldn’t it be helpful to be able to tell a much better-feeling, believable story about getting a “no”?  Or a rejection?

Here is just such a story my wife and I created last night.

A Leader Without Followers Isn’t a Leader

What’s the one thing every leader needs?  Followers.

The same idea is also true for anyone seeking a “yes” response in her personal or professional life.

Would you agree that, regardless what you’re trying to do or accomplish in life, your efforts can be called “finding your audience”?  Whether you’re a salesperson, own a business, create art, teach, etc., once you find your audience, the people who want/need your work and with whom your work resonates, you’ve become successful.

Finding “your people”, the folks who say “yes” to you and what you do, is pretty much the greatest key to your success.  Who would argue with that?

Sometimes It Seems Like Our Audience is Playing Hide-And-Seek With Us

And finding your audience is not necessary an overnight endeavor.  Nor is it always simple and straightforward.

Who would disagree that sometimes its necessary to continually alter and amend what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, and how you’re presenting it before you find your audience?  Likewise, we all know that you often have to knock on a lot of doors before you find “your people”, the people who’ve been looking for what you do.

Knocking on the “wrong” doors for a while seems to be a necessary part of finally knocking on the “right” door, doesn’t it?

But what if you could tell yourself a story that turned every door into the “right” door?  No matter if you hear a “no”; despite realizing that, once again, you’ve not found your audience and you’re turned away?

That’s Because Our Audience Is Playing Hide-And-Seek With Us – So Why Not Join the Game?

Imagine, if you will, a giant peg board or a Japanese Pachinko machine.  On a peg board or Pachinko machine, you drop a ball which then cascades down through a dense forest of pins. The ball goes in random directions as it bounces off the pegs during its decent.

Both of the sides and the bottom of your peg board are lined with hundreds of small receptacles – one of which your ball will eventually rest.  Due to all the pegs on the board, you’ll never know where your ball will end up.  The only thing you’re assured of is, after bouncing off and around the pegs, your ball will eventually find a home in one of the receptacles.

In our better-feeling, believable story your efforts to find your audience are taking place on  this peg board.  Your sales calls, gallery requests, product submissions, proposals, etc. are the ball.  And the pegs are the answers you hear from your potential “audience”, their “yes” and “no” responses.

Your ball hitting a peg is a metaphor for someone’s response to your efforts.  Your “ball” will careen off the “peg”, change direction, and continue it’s decent.  The careen and change of direction, of course, represent your efforts to knock on a another door and alter what you’re presenting (and how you’re presenting it), respectively.

No Matter How Long It Takes, There is Only One Outcome In a Game of Pachinko 

One thing you can be sure of is that your ball (your work) will eventually land in a receptacle (find an audience).  It might bounce off three pegs or two hundred before it finally finds a home, but it will come to rest.  The only way that won’t happen is if you knock over the peg board and walk away while your ball is still careening its way home.

But you won’t do that, will you?

Try telling yourself this story the next time you hear a disappointing “no.”  Tell yourself:

“I want to be honest and admit that a ‘yes’ would be much preferable here, but I also know that this is simply my ‘ball’ bouncing off another ‘peg’ on its way to the ‘receptacle’ it will eventually land in.  My ‘ball’ might careen off quite a few more ‘pegs’ before that happens, and my honest preference is that it hits as few as possible, yet I also know that I will not quit or give up.  Because I will continue to knock on doors, and alter what I’m doing and how I’m presenting it based on the feedback I receive, I know that my ‘ball’ will eventually and inevitably find it’s true ‘home’ (audience).”

And stay tuned to this site for more tips and techniques for using new paradigms from quantum physics to align your beliefs with your desires and intentionally influence your life experiences…​

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