By Greg Kuhn
I held my soul mate in my arms last night around 11 PM. On my lap, to be exact, as we embraced each other while sharing a chair at our kitchen table. We had been arguing twenty minutes prior.
(That’s us in Chicago last summer)
A painter and sculptor, she had an opening that evening and our plan was to meet at the gallery around 8:30 and go out together after. I came home that afternoon around 5 PM, entering from our garage in the midst of an exciting conversation with an executive coach who works with NASA. I’d been puttering around the house, continuing that call, for about an hour when she finally found me and quietly said, “I didn’t want to interrupt you; I’m leaving early. I’m going to the gallery around 6.”
My soul mate is important to me and I love spending time with her. I find her artwork incredible and it’s always been exciting to be with her at an opening; I had been looking forward to this evening all week. Yet I hurt her feelings because my wife didn’t feel she was very important to me that evening.
And the disagreement I mentioned ensued.
Our argument was reminiscent of so many that bedeviled me throughout my first marriage – the relationship that I had once been certain was that of a soul mate. It reminded me of disagreements my ex-wife and I continually repeated, arguments where the only things changing were the subject matter precipitating them. We each hurt the other with such regularity that, eventually, neither of us saw a soul mate when we looked at each other across the dining room table.
How could that happen?
Soul mates are supposed to be there for each other through thick and thin, right? And not only that, don’t soul mates keep that commitment alive way past retirement, holding hands and watching sunsets from comfy rocking chairs? Soul mates don’t hurt each other, especially in the same way after doing so once. Soul mates make each other an important priority.
A commitment to be there through thick and thin was missing from my first marriage. That commitment, however, is so abundant in my current marriage that I have absolutely no doubt that my wife is truly my soul mate. I know this with 100% certainty because I have learned not only how to truly fulfill the commitments required for having a soul mate, but also to keep them vibrant and flourishing every single day.
The law of attraction taught me how; now you can learn it too. And you can joyously embrace your true soul mate just as I have done.
The law of attraction, as I teach people to use it, is reflective of what quantum physics has taught us about how our universe truly works. There is actually nothing esoteric about it at all; modern science gives us a rather clear blueprint to harness the universal laws of how we create our material reality. At the end of the day, in fact, you really only have one choice regarding the creation of your material experiences: you can create them intentionally or you can create them unintentionally.
Rest assured that creating a more-pleasing, special, romantic partner is not rocket science. In fact, it is actually almost child’s play once you embrace the natural laws of material creation. In my case, embracing these laws is something I learned to do after my first marriage ended. Yet my experiences now, of being married to my soul mate, truly testify to how powerfully they work. And how completely they allow you to fulfill those soul mate commitments which can transform your relationship as you’ve always desired.
The secret of fulfilling those soul mate commitments is not found through changing the nature of the commitments, themselves. Rather, the true secret is learning to whom you actually fulfill those commitments. The truth about how to finally have a soul mate relationship, as taught by the law of attraction, is this: you are not responsible for fulfilling commitments to always be there for your partner, nor to not intentionally hurt your partner, and not even to make your partner an important priority.
If you want to have a true soul mate relationship, you are responsible for fulfilling those commitments to YOURSELF.
The law of attraction teaches us that we are fully responsible for our material experiences because our material experiences always, and without fail, are mirror-perfect reflections of our beliefs. Thus, we no longer need to look outside ourselves for the sources of our most pleasing experiences. And, likewise, we no longer must look elsewhere for the culprits behind our most troubling ones.
Aligning our beliefs with our desires, intentionally and purposefully, is actually almost the entirety of the powerful roadmap modern science gives us for using the law of attraction. Once we quit treating our subconscious brain like it’s a dog we’re training using a Powerpoint presentation, we finally gain the access we need to those beliefs. And we are able to grow them into alignment.
Growing our beliefs into alignment with our desires is, it turns out, the most precise way to actually fulfill those soul mate commitments. Since your romantic partner can never be anything other than a reflection of your beliefs, no matter how wonderful he or she tries to be, manifesting your soul mate is truly your responsibility. As surprising as it may sound, having a soul mate actually has very little to do with finding the right partner. Having a soul mate has everything to do, though, with intentionally aligning your beliefs with your desires for loving, and being loved by, a romantic partner.
For, you see, once your beliefs are aligned with your desires for a soul mate relationship, the natural laws of our universe can do nothing else but reflect those beliefs back to you. Thus, fulfilling this commitment to yourself is pretty much the only work you need to do to manifest your soul mate. Anything else you do will, unfortunately, almost always prove as fruitless as all your previous efforts.
This why I can say with absolute certainty that my wife is my soul mate. Because, unlike my previous marriage, today I make it a priority to keep my beliefs aligned with my desires for having a fulfilling soul mate relationship. And, unlike my previous marriage, I do not assign my wife any of that responsibility; I do not make my wife responsible, in any way, for me feeling loved, lovable, and secure.
Those old “you-hurt-me” arguments are now a thing of the past. My wife and I still argue because, as humans, we can sometimes be thoughtless or self-centered. But we almost never hold each other responsible for the pain of feeling unloved, unlovable, or insecure. We are each other’s soul mates because each of us sees reflections of our own aligned beliefs in the other.
So there you have it – the true secret for finding, and keeping, a soul mate relationship is aligning your beliefs with your desires for loving, and for being loved by, a romantic partner. You no longer need to meet “Prince (or Princess) Charming”; you can let go of the self-imposed stress of meeting “the one” and simply allow the universe to reflect those aligned beliefs back to you. And you’ll also find the people you’re attracting are of a similar mindset. Thus, you’ll find your commitment to taking care of yourself being matched by the potential partners you’re meeting.
Last night, after I realized that my preoccupation with my phone call had made my wife feel less important, I apologized and reassured her how much she means to me. My wife trusted me because she knows that I am faithful and diligent about keeping my beliefs aligned with my desires for our relationship. And she knows that I do not make her responsible for feeling loved or lovable.
And, conversely, I trusted my wife’s commitment to herself enough to listen to her feelings and respond with empathy. I know my wife does not make me responsible for her feeling loved or lovable.
As we embraced last night, we both expressed heartfelt gratitude for the wonderfully different outcomes of our disagreements today. Our old behaviors and the way we understood how romantic relationships function have long been a thing of the past. We are comfortable calling each other soul mates today because we both understand that fulfilling the commitments required for that level of romantic intimacy is almost entirely about each of us taking care of ourselves.
Thankfully, the law of attraction has shown us how to do that. And our marriage is a continual beneficiary of it. Now you, too, can apply the same universal laws to your romantic relationship and experience the joy of having the soul mate that you’ve long desired.