What if you don’t want what happens? What if it’s terrible?
I don’t believe that we make unwanted things happen to us; I don’t believe they happen because we want them to. We are not responsible for unwanted experiences in this manner.
What good could come from beating ourselves up when we experience the unwanted? (Click that link to Tweet it) Isn’t the unwanted experience, after all, pain enough?
We Aren’t Responsible for the Unwanted, But Are Responsible for Our Response to It
But we are responsible for our response to the unwanted. And given that we can count on unwanted experiences, building a strong belief that things happen just like they’re supposed to is a fantastic way to ensure a much more pleasing reality. (Click that link to Tweet it)
The pain of unwanted experiences is inevitable, after all. Suffering, however, is optional. (Click that link to Tweet it)
And when the unwanted occurs, you really only have two choices:
- “This isn’t supposed to be happening; I don’t like this, I won’t accept it, and I’m not going to be okay”
- “Things happen like they’re supposed to; I don’t necessarily like this, but given enough time I can accept it and I know I’m going to be okay”
Which one of those beliefs feels better? Which one of those beliefs will produce a more pleasing physical reality for you? I’ll give you three guesses (and the first two don’t count ;-)).
How to Build the Belief That Things Do Happen Like They’re Supposed To
The key to building a belief that things happen just like they’re supposed to, so that you can survive (and even thrive) during unwanted circumstances, is acknowledging your current feelings while telling a better-feeling story about what is happening. This practice makes your better-feeling stories believable.
Suppose, for example, you come home to discover your beloved pet dog has escaped her fence and been killed by a car. You might choose to tell the following story:
“Although I am devastated and sad about this and scared and angered about the loss of my friend, I can believe that, in the long run, I’ll be okay. I don’t relish feeling the sadness and despair, but I know that grieving is healthy and that it doesn’t last forever; I’ll feel better someday in the not too distant future. I can also believe that, in the long run, I’ll be okay and I’ll always have the cherished memories of our time together. I can even believe that someday, when my time ends, we’ll be reunited and that will feel wonderful.”
That story won’t magically make you feel better, nor will it wave a magic wand to end the grief. It’s not supposed to. But that story will build a belief that things happen like they’re supposed to (which feels so much better, and commands a more pleasing physical reality, than the alternative) because it does two things:
- It validates the very real and present feelings of pain and grief; it doesn’t sugarcoat the truth of how you feel
- It infuses you with a very real and believable sense of hope, which serves as a self-fulfilling prophecy because, with practice, such hope becomes your expectation even during horrible circumstances.
If I Believe That Things Happen Like They’re Supposed To, Am I Saying It’s “Okay” That Bad Things Happen?
Believing that things happen like they’re supposed to, after all, doesn’t mean that things will always happen like you want them to. It means that even the circumstances which appear so impossibly “bad”, in the moment, can hold the possibility of being blessings in the long run. (Click that link to Tweet it) And that, my friend, is a belief which powerfully aligns your material reality with your desires.
You may counter by saying, “Why would I want to believe that something horrible (like the death of a beloved pet) is ‘supposed to’ have happened?” I’ll remind you:
- You are not responsible for the unwanted; you are only responsible for your responses to it
- The unwanted is guaranteed to intrude upon your life
- You desire a material reality more closely aligned with your desires
- You have a choice in how you respond to the unwanted
- Why would you chose the painful response, which doesn’t align you with your desires, when you can choose the response which does?
So, given that you will continue to experience the unwanted (although I don’t wish anything dire upon you), I hope you join me today in telling better-feeling, believable stories about it.
And stay tuned to this blog to learn more techniques from quantum physics which align your material reality with your desires…