You’re always going to be an ass to someone. You’re human. You can’t avoid it.
It’s like George Carlin’s famous axiom: every other car on the road is either a maniac driving too fast or an idiot driving too slow.
In that same vein, no matter how hard you try to be positive and nice, someone, somewhere, is always going to find you unpleasant or, at least, off-putting in some way.
And that’s not even taking into account times when you really were an ass by anyone’s standards (including your own).
I’d Have to Be a Robot to Never Make Anyone Else Angry
I’ve never learned how to stop making people angry with me from time to time. Being human, I believe it’s impossible.
But I have learned to do one thing: forgive myself for those shortcomings.
What good is, I’ve learned, beating myself up in addition to the consequences I’m already experiencing as a result of not living up to someone else’s expectations of me? Somewhere early in my life, I picked up the belief that when someone is angry with me I should say, “They’re right! I am a butthead. I shouldn’t be such a moron. Why am I like this?” That, my friends, is no way to align one’s beliefs with one’s desires.
I’m certainly not saying that I don’t care what other people think of me. I don’t go around acting like a jerk on purpose and I assume you don’t either.
But if you’ve made a mistake, and it’s made people angry, let it go. Apologize for your mistake and do what you can to make amends. And know that your most important amend will always be to let go of the stick you’re beating yourself up with – simply for being human. (Click that link to Tweet it)
“This is Going to Be Great!”, I Thought Right Before I Made My Latest Mistake
I don’t know about you, but it’s been a long, long time since I willfully did things that I knew were wrong or harmful. Most of my mistakes today fall into one of two categories:
- I honestly had no idea I was negatively affecting someone else
- I actually thought that what I was doing was a great idea (and the fact that it isn’t is taking me completely by surprise).
Either way, how will not forgiving myself immediately and completely (radically, if you will) help me align my beliefs and my desires?
My litmus test is my own children. Sometimes they make me mad and I almost always let them know when that happens. Then, after I share my feelings, I let it go and it’s over. And, if one of my sons were beating himself up for making me mad, I would hug him fiercely and virtually command him to stop doing that. At my core, I want my sons to quickly and completely forgive themselves for being human and making mistakes – no matter how angry they might’ve made me in the moment.
And if that’s what I want for my sons, why wouldn’t I want the same for myself?
So if you have been in the habit of not letting go of your mistakes, or of beating yourself up for being human, go overboard in the other direction. (Click that link to Tweet it) Completely forgiving yourself might feel like something you’re not “allowed” to do at first, but you’ll love the freedom it brings you.
And stay tuned to this website for more tips and techniques for using new paradigms from quantum physics to align your life with your desires…