Under those circumstances, I wouldn’t blame you if you told me to take a flying leap.
Simple Is Good, When It Really Is Simple
Can it really be that simple? Can my bank account really fill or a lover really materialize just by changing my beliefs? Chop the last two words off that question and you’ll have the one I actually ask myself all the time: Can it really be? Can I really have the experience I want?
No, I cannot. Not without changing my beliefs, that is.
Grow a Greater You Inspires Again
Kris Clouthier and Chris Young, from the Grow a Greater You Facebook group, each asked about changing beliefs. About relationships and finances, respectively. I took their questions to un-exercise and this blog post was given to me.
Doubt Accompanies Uncharted Territory
Inside each of us is a doubt. We all doubt that we’re good enough; we doubt that we’re worthy. In some areas, that doubt is small. Those are the parts of your life where you are successful and joyous. You don’t long for success and joy in those areas because they’re already so.
In other areas, your doubt is greater. Those are the unsatisfying or painful parts of your life. You long for success and joy in those areas.
How Do You Change Beliefs When Confronted By Absence?
So how do you change your beliefs when you’re staring at the disappointing, or painful, reality of your small bank account? Or the empty couch cushion next to you? Faced with the way things are, how do you change them to the way you want them to be?
Most people will tell you to wallpaper over your limiting beliefs. Use positive affirmations or positive thinking. Surround yourself with images of the experience you really want. Focus only upon the reality you want, not the one you have.
But does what’s underneath wallpaper ever disappear? Does wallpapering a wall make the paint on that wall vanish? Of course not. All you’re doing is covering it up.
Don’t Cover, Discover!
Don’t shout over, or try to drown out, your limiting beliefs. When you’re faced with a barren account or a cold seat cushion, dive right in, rather than pretend to feel good. Face your feelings head-on to start building new beliefs.
When you are scared, angered, or saddened by your current reality, the absent experience is causing that feeling. But the feeling, itself, is yours. Although the feeling is generated by what’s missing, you are the one having it.
The Doubt Can Set You Free So Use It
Since you’re the one having the feeling, own it. When you have fear, anger, or sadness, feel those feelings as thoroughly as possible. Do not turn away from them. And then start looking for some doubt within.
Each of us has doubt. No matter how much we accomplish, we will always carry some doubt about experiencing the next thing. Look into yourself and find your doubt, as honestly and fearlessly as you can.
Squaring yourself with your doubt is an act of self-reconciliation and self-love – almost always far more powerful than any affirmation or positive thinking. It usually allows you to see solutions you’d never have thought of before.
In the end, your solutions can arise from your pain, rather than through a focus on your desired outcome. Look deeply into your pain, find your doubt, and reconcile yourself with it during un-exercise. I’ll bet you’ll love the results!
Consider joining this independent Facebook group, Grow a Greater You. You’ll meet friends who enjoy discussing ideas like these.
Our discussions in the comment thread need to be civil and respectful. I am the sole determiner of what constitutes civility and respect