Try an instant quantum experiment!  It’s a simple, two-step experiment that will take you only a couple moments. 

 

Step One: Think about someone who makes you feel good.  Hold that person in your mind for a moment and think about the things you like about him or her.  

Step Two: Then, with the same person, maximize your full potential for being grateful!  Still holding this person in your mind, go over the top appreciating him or her!  In your mind, shout the praise!

 

Thank You for Experimenting with Me

 

Why is that a quantum experiment?  Because quantum theory is clear about the observer and the observed being two different perspectives of the same thing.  In other words, you are not separate from what you observe.

 

In other words you are always observing yourself.  It may seem like the people and things you observe each day are separate from you, but that is simply a very effective illusion.  Quantum theory doesn’t specifically “say” that, but we don’t need it to.  We’re saying it, reasonably based upon quantum theory.  

 

There Is Quantum Gold in the Difference Between Steps One and Two

 

Now let’s return to the quantum experiment.  I’d be shocked if there wasn’t some difference in the amount of praise you showered during the first and the second step.  And during step two, the increase in appreciation was for you.  Not for him or her.

 

For you?  Yes.  In step two, you increased the fanfare to achieve your full potential for gratitude.  That’s what the experiment asked for.  You didn’t do it for that person; you did it for the experiment.  You did it for yourself.

 

You Always Do It for Yourself

 

Remember that you were actually observing yourself both times.  Yes, you actually create a unique version of everyone; your version, in your unique universe, of anyone is yours alone.  You were, in truth, cheering for yourself in step one and step two.  The version you cheered in step one was your creation, as was the version you applauded a little more during step two.

 

In fact, you have more influence over who anyone is, and what they mean to you, than they do!  You are the observer creating your unique universe.  And, sometimes, there isn’t much someone can do to change the version of them you’re creating.  That’s how powerful you are!

 

Can other people influence your version of them?  Of course!  A jerk does a pretty good job influencing the version of him you create, just as an angel does.  But at the end of the day, the meaning and value anyone holds in your unique universe will be your decision.  And yours alone.  

 

You Don’t Need to Turn Jerks Into Angels

 

This experiment doesn’t say that you’re making the “wrong” version of anyone.  You’re not doing anything “wrong” by letting a jerk be a jerk in your universe.  Not if he offers you no other option.  That’s how we protect ourselves and form healthy boundaries.

 

But aren’t there are some important people in your life who you occasionally stop creating the best possible version of?  In fact, don’t you sometimes create a less-than-stellar version of someone you normally enjoy?  I do that pretty much every time I get angry and fight with my wife, sons, or stepson.  The goal of this experiment is to remind you to create better versions of someone when it’s possible and when it serves you.  Not every time; when you want to!

 

And don’t you want to sometimes?  I do.  I want to create better versions of people all the time, in fact.  Because it’s very often possible and desirable!

 

This Experiment Can Actually Be a Fulfilling Way to Live

 

Use this experiment today to improve a version of an important person you’ve suddenly downgraded.  Try it out, for example, when your stepson rolls his eyes at you – when he transforms into a rather unlikable version of himself in your universe.  Your applause and gratitude, as you employ step two from our experiment, won’t be for him.  He probably won’t really deserve it, after all, after he just rolled his eyes at you!  Step two be for you.  

 

It’ll be for you because you desire a better version of him.  And you’ll also use step two because a better version of him is possible.  And let’s put something to rest: if it wasn’t possible to create a better version of your stepson, he would have no business being so special and important to you.  But he is; you love your stepson and you care about his well-being.  And that is the exact type of person to use this experiment with.

 

You’ll find, if your experiences are like mine, that this experiment can do more than improve your experience of someone.  It can actually help you solve the discord which led to your less-than-stellar version of that person in the first place.  Try it for yourself and see! 

 

 

Note:

Consider joining this independent Facebook group, Grow a Greater You.  You’ll meet friends who enjoy discussing ideas like these.

Disclaimer:

Our discussions in the comment thread need to be civil and respectful.  I am the sole determiner of what constitutes civility and respect.